Genes

The post about this weekend was already formed in my mind.  Pictures of my mother-in-law (LaNae), Jayson, and the kids hiking to beautiful Exit glacier, Jayson's first salmon, our picture perfect day floating down the Kenai River, LaNae and Jayson in their hip waders, David's HUGE catch of the day, the girls pulling the dead fish through the water as if it were their pets...  And in one careless moment, my camera was left by the river and is now in the hands of someone else.  Someone honest?  I can only hope.  I am so sad.  Sad for the lost pictures.  Sad because my camera is practically my third appendage.  Sad sad sad.  This gray cloud has been following me all day.  I started to cry (again) when I didn't get a picture of Grandma playing games with the kids.  And another one of Sierra's fabulous desserts.  And and and...

What is wrong with me?  I lose my keys all the time.  This isn't the first time my camera has been lost.  I spent months this winter looking for my favorite gloves.  I misplace papers.  I can't even remember to push in my drawers after I get something out of them.  Some days I will walk into the kitchen and every single cupboard drawer is open.  I got something out of it and just left it...  I know it is very frustrating to my husband who loses nothing.  He puts things where they go and always remembers them.  I've been married to him for 15 years now and he has NEVER lost his keys.  How is that possible?! 

Does some part of my brain just works differently?  Is this just in my genes?  Try as I may, I just can't seem to be organized.  I can't put my keys in the same place twice.  I'm easily distracted and just put things down haphazardly.  I grab something out of a drawer and then before closing the drawer, I quickly head to the next thing.  I'm hoping that maybe this same part of my brain is what helps me be creative.  I wish I knew so that when I lose my $1000 camera there is a way to gain perspective.  My husband could say, "Well, that's a small price to pay for the creativity you bring to the family."  There's got to be a link, right?

Speaking of perspective, I ditched an hour of church because I needed to cry about the loss of my camera.  (I had just realized I had lost it an hour before church.)  Returning, there in the foyer was my beautiful friend Cari with a big smile on her face even though she has dealt with the biggest tragedy of her life this week - her oldest daughter was stabbed and killed.  How dare I cry about my camera.  I have never met anyone like Cari who has so much faith, and strength and courage to deal with and lead her family and friends through this tragedy.  I just hope that somewhere, just maybe not developed yet, I have those in my genes too.